Understanding Dysfunctional Narcissism
The overarching motivation for my becoming a human services professional, author, psychotherapist, and subsequently earning a doctorate in psychology, involves having an abundance of empathy. That is — being able to identify with the feelings and needs of others — and being exceptionally adept at such skill. However, at the other end of empathetic spectrum, is someone devoid of empathy. Through the course of my clinical experiences in the field of psychology, I have worked with clients diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a psychological condition characterized by self-aggrandizement, entitlement, and lack of empathy. It is certain that, many of us at some point in our lives, have come across individuals with such personality traits, which may include close friends, family members, and people in our work environment.
Displaying an elevated sense of self-worth or arrogance does not automatically turn someone into a narcissist. Personally, I think some degree of narcissism is necessary for survival. Some studies have indicated that a healthy amount of narcissism can promote confidence and mental well-being. However, it is the dysfunctional narcissist who constitutes challenges, presenting recurrent patterns of narcissistic behavior that devalue others through self-absorption. In its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, the American Psychiatric Association describes someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as constantly requiring approval and admiration to maintain self-esteem, lacking empathy for others, along with a sense of grandiosity. It is important to note that such condition can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Hence, this literature solely provides an overview of narcissistic personality disorder and how disruptive a person with such condition can be to themselves and relationships with others.
Let us consider how such pervasive patterns of behavior manifest in interactions with someone with NPD.
· Narcissists’ view of themselves is exaggerated, which may be reinforced or further elevate their self-worth by seeking relationships with prominent people, thus looking to others for sense of identity.
· As their moods fluctuate in regard to relationship with others, narcissists are unable to accept criticism, often retaliating through hostility, or manipulation, such as identifying as a victim.
· Narcissists are clever at exploiting others, often through false humility, social withdrawal (engaging in silent treatment as a form of punishment), or betrayal of confidentiality.
· Their needs are conceptualized as preeminent over others. If not, retribution is viewed as a form of control, whether real or imagined.
· Narcissists may be envious of others or falsely believe they are the object of envy.
· Narcissists’ high sense of themselves may lead them to overestimate their influence on others.
· Narcissists are empathy impaired, lacking understanding as to how their behaviors or words may offend others.
Hence, daily interactions with someone harboring high levels of narcissistic traits can be extremely challenging. Recognize, however, that NPD is a mental illness in need of treatment. Moreover, symptoms of NPD may involve co-occurrence with other psychological disorders. As noted, only a mental health professional can make these diagnoses. But if you have experienced such volatile relationships with others, or perhaps you have personally struggled with symptoms of NPD, consult with a mental health professional who can provide guidance to your specific circumstances, assess, and provide treatment with respect to NPD. Keep in mind, however, people with narcissistic personality disorder may be resistant to treatment, partly a result of heightened sense of superiority and sensitivity to criticism.
My premise in this article concerned my having copious empathy that has allowed me to optimize relationships with clients. As such, I implore anyone who struggles with sensitivity toward the feelings of others to look within themselves and examine why such lack of empathy exists or seek help.
References:
APA 7th Edition (American Psychological Assoc.)
